VICTORY FOR TESLA OWNERS! Woke Vandals Face Justice!
You guys know I love covering the “effing around and finding out” files, and let me tell you, the past week has been a goldmine! We’re not just talking about some blobular dude ramming his homemade ATV into a parked Tesla, we’re seeing massive arrest news coming in, including potential prison sentences stretching up to 20 to 30 years!
It’s been a wild ride watching these idiots try to get their pathetic crumbs of internet clout by damaging Teslas, but it looks like that trend is crashing and burning – probably within the next week because so many of them are getting caught. The wave of videos they were hoping to create is now just a highlight reel for law enforcement.
Speaking of getting caught, let’s talk about some of these clowns:
- We had the large Texas man, 33-year-old Demarian Demarquerian Cox, who decided it would be a good idea to crash his mini four-wheeler into parked Teslas. Surveillance footage caught him red-handed at the Golden Palace restaurant. And get this, after initially giving a fake name, he was identified and taken into custody. So far, he’s facing one count of felony criminal mischief and failure to identify, but with reports of damage at a Lowe’s parking lot and a Genesis Prime Care, he could be looking at four felonies just for not liking Elon! Hope it was worth it, fatso!
- Then there’s the targeted attack on a Tesla collision center in Las Vegas. 36-year-old Paul Kim has been arrested on arson charges and possession of things that go boom. Apparently, this genius pulled out a weapon, put holes in cars, and ignited Molotov cocktails. He’s been booked on 15 counts! Fifteen! Was it worth it?
- And who can forget the story in four parts about the dork at a hotel casually keying a Cybertruck? Thanks to people online, he got caught, even after his brilliant disguise of a hat and sunglasses. Turns out “Jim Palace” is his name, and he was a regional sales director at Armor Code. Well, Armor Code has been “made aware” and he’s been fired! Serves him right! Bentley University, you should be proud of this one (not really, since apparently 50% of applicants get in).
- We also saw Cooper Joe Frederick in Fort Collins, Colorado, get arrested for allegedly igniting and throwing incendiary devices at a Tesla dealership. This resulted in a fire that endangered people inside. He’s facing multiple felonies, including use of an incendiary device (class two), possession (class 5), second-degree arson (class 5), criminal mischief (class 5), and criminal attempt to commit a felony (class five or six). The judge wanted a $250,000 bail, but the DA insisted on $20,000 cash bail, which he probably doesn’t have, so he’s sitting in jail looking at 20 years! Was it worth it?
- And the soy jack who filmed himself keying a swastika into a Tesla? Trust me, this Redditor with his probably massive karma is going to get caught. It even ran on local news!.
- Let’s not forget the old granny in Berkeley keying a Cybertruck in a gated parking lot. Seriously? With security cameras everywhere, including on other Teslas? She’s looking at a felony too!
To all the Tesla owners out there: don’t be a puss! Don’t sell your car! Don’t be afraid to drive it! When some loser flips you off, just tell them to stay mad. They’re trying to bully you, don’t let them win. Drive your car with pride! If some idiot damages your paint, your insurance covers it. And if you legitimately can’t afford to fix it, you know I’ll figure something out.
These losers are all getting caught, facing felonies, losing their jobs – their lives are being ruined. Meanwhile, you get to make fun of them on the internet. So keep your heads up, Tesla fam. Justice is being served.
And speaking of support, don’t forget to download the Rumble app and follow me to enter to win a Meta PC gaming computer! We’re trying to hit 300,000 followers over there, so check out my live stream today from 2 to 4 Eastern, or watch it later. You might just like it. Stay tuned for more updates on these hilarious cases of “effing around and finding out”!
