Stephen Colbert devoted the bulk of his monologue on Monday’s “The Late Show” to the only news that really matters — the Supreme Court decision to strike down Roe v. Wade.
And as part of this, he imagined a pregnancy test that actually just tells women whether or not they still have rights. Colbert also imagined the “Law & Order” spinoff that deals with the problem of enforcing the contradictory legal nightmare now faced by many women.
At the top of the monologue, Colbert joked that last week, “we were in the Ed Sullivan theater, and today we’re in Medieval Times.” Joking that with the repeal of Roe, “reproductive rights in America lasted for less time than ‘The Young and the Restless,’” Colbert also quipped that he had wasted all the good jokes when the Supreme Court decision was first leaked back in May.
Later, Colbert noted how the decision on Friday prompted massive nationwide protests. “Turns out taking rights away from half the people in the country wasn’t popular with the people in the country,” he said.
“We know majorities don’t matter. That’s how you get this Supreme Court,” Colbert continued, referring to the fact that of the 6 justices who signed on to the decision, only one (Clarence Thomas) was appointed by a president who actually won the popular vote.
Later in the monologue, Colbert got to the question of how these laws will be enforced. “If something’s illegal, it stands to reason there’s gotta be a punishment, right?”
Then, Colbert — first joking “I am sure [he] never paid for an abortion” — played a clip of Donald Trump explaining his opinion in 2016 that if abortion is illegal, women who have abortions must be punished.